Longing for her. She is the most beautiful, nobody else is more beautiful. I have some tunnel vision of only looking to her. She’s the one. She knows a lot, is beautiful and accessible.
Up close looking into her eyes. Feel each other’s lips touching. Nice. Can this become something? Wasn’t I just a safety net for her and her broken relationship? Am I the snack in the afternoon after eating lunch? Yes. She wants nothing.
Only the intimacy between her and another person. Can I be this person? Can I be the snack? Without further jealousy as she talks with other guys? No, I will be jealous. I want her for myself. All for myself. She has already met him. Her next boyfriend. Older than me; nicer talk, more jokes. Right now she’s thinking another boy is her heaven. She is wrong. It’s the other guy. With him, she continues. He’s what I’m not for her.